Joanne Koegl M.A.,LMFT
245 S. Euclid Avenue, Pasadena, California 91101
Marriage Family Therapist, License #MFC 45854
Servicing Pasadena, Alhambra, Glendale, La Canada, Montrose, La Crescenta, Sierra Madre, San Marino, South Pasadena
Couples therapy focuses on the problems existing in the relationship between two
people. But these relational problems most always involve individual symptoms and
problems as well as the relationship conflicts. For example, if you are constantly
arguing with your spouse, you may also be chronically anxious, angry or depressed
(or all three).
In couples therapy, I will help you and your partner identify the conflict issues within
your relationship. I will help you decide what changes are needed in the
relationship and in the behavior of each partner, for both of you to feel satisfied
with the relationship. Couples therapy involves learning how to communicate more effectively, and how to listen
more closely. In couples therapy I am often more proactive and direct helping the couple gain awareness of their
"disconnect" by pointing out observed behaviors and putting words to body language, eye rolling, etc. The way I and
the couple develop rapport is by being honest from the start and the couple feeling heard. Sometimes the process
is very similar to individual psychotherapy, sometimes it is more like coaching and it is educational. The goal is to
initially gather each individuals feelings, thoughts, and conflicts in front of each other, to practice mindfulness and
respect while the spouse/partner is speaking. I work with the couple to identify the disconnect and often that may
include homework. I believe that intimate connectedness and full respectful living is our birthright and optimal state
for all types of relationships. Infidelity is increasing amongst couples but I have seen marriages survive and grow
stronger when both parties want to explore why it happened, how to gain trust and forgive.
COUPLES THERAPY, RELATIONSHIP BUILDING
Premarital counseling, also known as the marriage preparation program, explores and
helps bring forward all elements of beginning a life together. Long before you met your
partner you began preparing for marriage. Each experience of attachment and love has
formed expectations and colored your dreams. Now is the time to plan your journey and
set your course for future that will bring joy and unity. Your premarital assessment is an opportunity to honor your
strengths and identify potential areas to strengthen your relationship. Your profile develops over four, fifty minute
sessions. Included in this process is the use of FOCCUS, an internationally used multiple choice inventory which
covers questions pertaining to issues of expectations, communication styles, family of origin, conflict
resolution, finances, sexuality, intimacy, parenthood, spirituality and goals and dreams. It provides
individualized couple feedback on where each partner stands in regard to topic areas important to marriage. Often
the questions form the basis for further discussion of issues that sometimes couples may have not considered
before entering into marriage.
Grief and Loss
LOSS AND GRIEF THERAPY
One thing we are all going to face in life is LOSS. Often people think loss is only by death but everyday losses such
as health, divorce, loss of a job, finances, retirement, empty nest syndrome, youth, aging parents, family and friends
moving away, etc, can be difficult losses to cope with or obtain some perspective to help us move through life's
changes. We are such a society of attainment and we are not taught how to talk about loss and bereavement. This
past economic year has been an example of how many of us suffered different losses and how we had to learn to
navigate our lives in new ways. Going through the loss can be detrimental to your physical and emotional well
being if you do not have someone to talk with about and to learn coping skills.
The death of a loved one can be the most stressful event in a person’s life. A wide array of emotions can be
experienced, such as sadness, anger, anxiety, guilt, and despair. Changes in sleep patterns and appetite can
occur, as well as physical illness. These are all normal parts of grieving and the feelings can ebb and flow over
time. Grieving over the loss of a loved one is a necessary and natural process. Time and balance are important
components yet talking about our loved one is the start to healing. Everyone grieves differently, especially
depending on how we were brought up and our own backgrounds. Grieving is one of the most universal of all
human experiences, cutting across race, nationality, gender and socioeconomic backgrounds.
Although it is something we will all encounter eventually, it is still one of our society’s
biggest taboos. We are bombarded daily on TV with the images of accidents, shootings
naturals disasters, war, etc., but we often do not address grieving and we always hear
"it is time to move forward". For those of us that are left in its wake, it is not so simple.
I help my clients that are mourning the death of a loved one by giving them permission
to talk about their loved one, remembering them, and we examine your UNIQUE feelings.
I help you recognize that life is never going to be the same without that person but that
life does go on and that your loved one would want you to move on. Before you can get
to that place of acceptance and readjustment, I help you mourn the loss both by talking
and through some healing tasks.
WALK AND TALK THERAPY
You can also choose to relax after our session by our Koi filled pond listening to the soothing sounds of the
waterfalls. It’s important to take a moment each day for ourselves, especially helpful for people with busy, stressful
lives and chronic anxiety.
I offer Walk and Talk Therapy...you set the pace, bring a pair of
tennis shoes and allow nature to help open up the process. The
Walk and Talk sessions are conducted exactly the same way with
respect to processing challenges, relationship concerns, worries,
building towards healing, the only difference it is held outdoors while
walking. I find this therapy can benefit people who have been stuck in
an office all day and feel the stress of their day dissipate as they walk
and can "attack" the issues they are seeking guidance. Movement is
so important for the mind, body and spirit. We walk from my
Pasadena office which is located in a quiet area lined with trees.