Couples/Premarital Counseling
REACHING OUT TO CONNECT IS THE RESPONSIBILITY OF BOTH PARTNERS…
In couples therapy, I will help you and your partner identify the conflict issues within your relationship. I will help you decide what changes are needed in the relationship and in the behavior of each partner, in order for both of you to feel satisfied with the relationship. Couples therapy involves learning how to communicate more effectively, and how to listen more closely. In couples therapy I am often more proactive and direct helping the couple gain awareness of their "disconnect" by pointing out observed behaviors and putting words to body language, eye rolling, etc.
The way I and the couple develop rapport is by being upfront and direct from the start and that the couple feels understood. Sometimes the process is very similar to individual psychotherapy, sometimes it is more like coaching and it is educational. The goal is to initially gather each of the individual feelings, thoughts, and conflicts in front of each other, to practice active listening and respect while the spouse/partner is speaking. I tailor my therapy by the need of the couple often focusing on individual childhood trauma that may be triggering your relation. I also use Imago, Emotionally Focused, Gottman, Relational, Solution Focus and Narrative Therapy modalities. I work with the couple to identify the disconnect and often that may include homework. The process is not only the 55 minutes you spend in session but also what tools you development with me and practice on a daily basis. I believe that intimate connectedness and full respectful living is our birthright and optimal state for all types of relationships. Infidelity is increasing among couples but I have seen marriages survive and grow stronger when both parties want to explore why it happened, how to gain trust, what needs to change, and forgive.
A recent report from the Pew Research Institute has based data that the divorced rate among 50 year old’s and older has nearly doubled and tripled between 65 years old’s and older from 1990-2015. It is being called “Grey Divorce”. There are many articles for all the reasons this is happening and has therapist specializing with couples looking into the varied reasons it is happening. If you find yourself in this crossroads, you are not alone. Please read some of the articles posted in the website.
Premarital Counseling is useful in helping you gain insight on how you show up in relationships. There is so much excitement when one gets engaged and all the plans of a venue, the wedding, the honeymoon and forever life together is forefront in your mind. But there is lots of stress also, and in premarital therapy we address areas that perhaps you have not thought about that you will encounter in your journey together. We will discuss what messages you received from your families while growing up about marriage, the different communication skills, fears you may have and afraid to bring up, finances, parenting, traditions, affection, intimacy, and other topics. Premarital counseling prepares you to go into your marriage with a stronger foundation to prepare you for strong and happy marriage.